There is only one you.
My friend Matthew Goldfarb says, “It’s OK to fit in, but it’s better to stand out.”
Yet there are so many days I feel like I’m smack dab in the middle of an echo chamber.
For example, even though I don’t follow a particular marketing coach (I’ll call her Sally), I always know what Sally is teaching her Platinum Mastermind clients because I still get their emails.
I can read the subject line and first paragraph of 2-3 of her client’s emails and will know that Sally’s been talking about “profit”.
Then a few months later, I’ll notice they’re all being “vulnerable” and sharing their deepest, darkest fears and secrets.
And I loved it when they all started writing about “truth”. Really, I did. You can’t have too much truth!
But in an effort to fit in, too many entrepreneurs become the echo, not the voice.
We stop thinking for ourselves. We try to please others by following rules, guidelines and social norms so that we can fit in. Or do what Sally is doing.
And we lose ourselves in the process.
The alternative is to be dangerously you.
- What if you were a thought leader, rather than a follower?
- What if you spoke your truth, instead of filtering yourself?
- What if you said what’s really on your mind, versus being polite?
Feels risky, doesn’t it?
Yes. But I’d much rather be “dangerously me” by being my absolute, true, authentic self and piss a few people off along the way.
And I’m willing to take that risk because I know I can’t be all things to all people. And neither can you.
Think for yourself. Speak for yourself. Be yourself.
Learn more about HOW to think (not WHAT to think) to position yourself as a thought leader. This is just one of the things I’ll cover on my brand new webinar that’s happening tomorrow, September 12th:
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Dare to be dangerously you.
It ain’t always easy.
When I saw my parents walking down the sidewalk holding hands on Sunday, I couldn’t help but consider of what great roles models they are for us as entrepreneurs.
They’ve been married for almost 56 years. Raised 5 kids. Moved four times. Undergone countless surgeries. Belong to different churches. Disagree on plenty of topics. And dealt with their share of challenges and adversity over the past 5+ decades.
Despite the challenges that life presents, they still hold hands every now and then.
So I asked them what one word they would use to describe what it’s taken to make things work.
They both replied “commitment”.
Interestingly, I talk to plenty of entrepreneurs who don’t have that same commitment to their business.
So I have a suggestion for when the going gets tough.
Commit to your goals (not your business).
Achieving your goals is what will bring you satisfaction. Your business is simply a vehicle to help you get there.
If your biz isn’t set up to allow you to reach them, you need to do one of two things:
- Change your business model to support your goals
- Change your goals to endure your business model
And then commit to the path you choose.
My parents have changed their “marriage model” multiple times to support their shifting goals over the past 50+ years. They have the stories to prove it’s not always pretty, but are still holding hands as evidence that it works when you stay committed.
If your business isn’t supporting…
Why you started in the first place; helping you earn the
Income you want; enjoying the
Lifestyle you want and creating the
Legacy you’d like…
Explore the W.I.L.L. Formula™ further to whip things into shape.
Dare to commit.
There will always be “what ifs.”
When I talk with entrepreneurs who are starting out, they have a lot of “what ifs” that weigh them down and stop them from moving forward.
What if I don’t know what to do?
What if I make a mistake?
What if they don’t like it?
What if it doesn’t work?
What if I run out of runway?
Imagine if you were to “what if” yourself UP, instead of “what iffing” yourself down.
What if you replace your fears and doubts with faith?
What if you trust that you’ll succeed instead of fail?
What if you look for reasons to say yes, rather than look for reasons to say no?
What if you do what it takes to realize your dreams, rather than stay stuck in inaction and indecision?
Dare to “what if” yourself UP vs. down.
Life is full of choices.
When faced with a myriad of choices, how do you make the “right” decision?
Teddy Roosevelt said, “In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.”
Sure, you’ll make some decisions along the way that don’t work out. I’ve made plenty!
The risk of a wrong decision is preferable to the terror of indecision. – Maimonides
Making a wrong decision every so often? Risking ego? Financial risk? Relationships?
Or living in terror of f*ing up, making NO decisions and living up to a fraction of what you’re capable of accomplishing in this world?
As Paul Tillich said, “Decision is a risk rooted in the courage of being free.”
You won’t find me in “indecision prison”. My missteps are what have guided me to to some of my greatest accomplishments.
Give me freedom!
And I’ll accept the failures that come with that freedom.
Dare to decide.
It’s easy to get stuck seeking perfection.
“It’s not quite right. I just need to (fill in the blank) before I’m ready.”
Nothing significant or remarkable gets accomplished when you think like that.
What’s behind perfection might surprise you.
In a recent Oprah interview, the author of “Daring Greatly”, Brene Brown, says our quest for perfection is really our effort to minimize shame and judgement. Or as Oprah puts it, “Perfectionists are ultimately afraid that the world is gonna see them for who they really are and they won’t measure up.”
It took a lot of years of perfectionistic tendencies for me to see that they’re right!
If you keep yourself busy perfecting, you don’t have to deliver. And if you don’t deliver, nobody can judge the quality of your work. And if nobody’s judging your work, you don’t risk shame.
The problem with this scenario is that you don’t get anything done. You don’t share your brilliance with the world. And that’s a ridiculous waste of talent.
Quit perfecting. Stop hiding. Risk judgement.
Everyone else is too busy perfecting their own stuff to judge you, anyway.
Dare to deliver!
You can’t be all things to all people.
“But I can help everybody.”
That’s the refrain I’ve heard from countless entrepreneurs over the years.
Perhaps you can, so let’s go with that belief for a moment.
Sure. You can help the people who can’t afford you. You can help the people who create hassles for you. You can help the people who suck the joy out of your day. You can help the people who don’t take responsibility for their role in their outcome.
But are they really the people you want to serve? How long can you work with people who don’t pay you? How will I know who to refer to you if you help everyone?
When you try to be all things to all people, you blend in. You’re forgettable. You’re forgotten.
But when you put a stake in the ground and are specific about who you serve and what you do for them, THAT is memorable. THAT is what drives referrals. THAT is what gets you clients who you love serving.
Dare to take a stand!
You do not need permission.
Even though we run our own business, there are times we act as if we’re still in third grade.
…waiting for the school bell to ring so we can run outside to the playground.
…waiting to be called on while we raise an invisible hand to prove we know the answer.
… looking to others for approval and validation that what we’re doing is okay.
You’re an adult now, so what if you simply did it?
What if you didn’t care what people think?
So what if you trip and fall?
Because what if you soar?
Give yourself permission to never ask for permission again. Ever.
Dare to do!
The truth is…anything is possible.
You want to host a talk show?
You want to fly a helicopter?
You want to take your family on an African safari?
Yes, anything is possible.
Yet we get caught in the daily drudgery. How can we possibly do that when we’ve got a business to run? Bills to pay? Mouths to feed?
And to add insult to injury, we look at the amazing things other people are doing and don’t think we can measure up. We think they’ve got something special that we don’t.
You want something? I’ll tell you how you do it…
You create it.
You shape your world one choice at a time. One decision at a time. One step at a time.
Small steps allow you to make leaps and bounds toward accomplishing the possibilities you imagine.
If you have a goal to achieve, problem to solve or adventure to experience, let me help you. Register now for Declare Your Dare :: 21 MicroMovements to Make Shift Happen. I’ll give you 21 days of small steps you can take to make the possibility a reality. It’s free and it starts on Monday, April 26 2013.
I know you have it in you. (Even if you don’t believe it for yourself.)
Dare to create your world and live out your possibilities!
The truth is…there are things you don’t and won’t want to do in your business.
You don’t wanna do it. You dig in your heels. Not gonna happen.
It might be pulling together your taxes for your CPA.
Or wiggling into your Spanx to head to a networking event you don’t want to attend. (Ugh!)
Or following up with the people you met at that networking event.
But there’s often something on the other side of the things you don’t want to do…that you do want.
Which “want” is stronger?
- Wanting to avoid doing your taxes… or wanting your refund (or not wanting to be on the bad side of the IRS)?
- Wanting to stay home to watch The Voice… or wanting a bunch of awesome prospects?
- Wanting to avoid follow-up to avoid rejection… or wanting new clients?
You have choices. You have the choice to avoid what you don’t want to do and not get what you want.
Or you have the choice to do things you don’t want in order to get what you do want.
Dare to do the things you don’t want in order to get what you do want.
Share your comments on this topic below!
The truth is…fear makes you do some irrational, desperate things that ultimately sabotage your growth.
The business isn’t running on all cylinders. People aren’t lining up to hire us. Things feel off-kilter.
Low on time, money and patience…we begin to panic. And left unchecked, that fear drives irrational decisions. I know it sure has for me. It robs you of your creativity and joy. It stirs up an air of desperation that drives your prospects away.
You deserve better!
Tune into how your fears color your actions and decisions – from how you approach your day, your prospects, your business, your clients, your life.
Is fear in charge of you? Or are you in charge of fear?
And the next time you’re faced with a decision, ask yourself if you’re making it from a place of wonder, curiosity and creativity… or a place of fear.
Dare to grab fear by the throat!
What’s your Truth & Dare on this topic? Comment below.