One thing that screws with my soul is the suspension of disbelief in so many entrepreneurs.
To be clear, I’m not talking about the shocked, “Wow! Can you believe he just tweeted confefe?!” disbelief that happens when something amuses or alarms us.
I’m referring to the, “Who am I to say/do…?” lack of belief of our own worthiness. It’s the brand of disbelief that stops us from making the fullest impact we’re capable of.
And it’s in opposition to the belief we had to have to even start a business in the first place.
A passage in Kyle Cease’s quirky, challenging and entertaining book, “I Hope I Screw This Up” gives an example:
…any time you have a decision to make, you’ll feel either excited in your body or scared and in your head, so just ask yourself, “Which would I rather live in?” Whatever decision you make will move you toward that reality. “I really want to do this. Yeah, but I can’t afford it.” Well, maybe you’ll be able to afford it when you decide to do it. This sounds crazy to a lot of people; that’s their “Yeah, but…” brain that they’ve trained themselves to listen to.
The source of the “yeah, but…” fear Kyle talks about stems from disbelief.
It’s a lack of self-trust in yourself. And it fires up fear whenever something looks even slightly risky. It’s when you stay put instead of choosing to pursue possibility.
It’s so sneaky that we often don’t notice it. But when you tune in with yourself, you see it.
I’m not immune. I’ve been there hundreds of times.
Even though I’ve been intrigued for months, I was avoiding Facebook Live like rats after dark in NYC.
(Who am I kidding, I avoid rats during the day too.)
The truth is that I was afraid people wouldn’t show up, participate or give a sh*t. And that would be a hit to my ego.
But after doing a couple, I realized I was wrong. People did show up. Some did participate. And a few even care.
I’ve seen this disbelief show up in myself and others by not publishing that blog post, not hosting the retreat that would light people up, not sharing your point of view or doing webinars that would open eyes, not joining the program or hiring the coach who would grow your business, not making the follow up call that would land the new client, not creating the program that would generate additional income, not following through on your commitments that would keep you in integrity… This list could go on for miles.
Staying suspended in a state of disbelief eats your dreams for breakfast.
And let’s not forget lunch and dinner. Although occasionally it might ease up for a snack on faith.
Even though we have control over that fear, we succumb to it anyway. And it keeps you playing small.
So I’m going to keep facing my fear of Facebook Live by doing it again.
And because I’ve got a lot to share about my observations and lessons from 15+ years of working with thousands of entrepreneurs, I’m going to work at improving the experience so people get so much value they come back for more.
This week, I’ll share the results of a simple experiment I did with a few of my clients last year that suspended their disbelief and fear — and yielded life changing results.
HINT: It was so much effing fun!
(And now I’m wondering why I haven’t done this with more clients more often! Disbelief, perhaps?)
If you’d like to learn about one ridiculously magical way I found to deal with Ego + Fear, be sure to click over to Facebook Live on Wednesday, June 28 at 12:30 Eastern.
I believe that when things get tough, it’s not time to back down. It’s time to step up.
Ever heard of Lady Gaga? (Yeah, of course you have.)
She was dropped by her first record label after just 3 months.
Imagine the despair she must’ve felt. How could they do this to me? What do I do? What will people think? What now?
Well, we all know she didn’t back down. She clearly stepped up.
And she’s not the only one who’s ever stepped up.
But how do you know if it’s worth stepping up when you’re ready to expand and up level but it feels so big? And you wonder how to make it happen? And your family thinks you’re nuts?
Or on the flip side, what if the fifth prospect in a row doesn’t hire you? Or you don’t fill your group program? Or not enough people register for your event? And nothing seems to be working?
What if you fail? (What if you succeed?)
What if you’re publicly humiliated? (What if you’re publicly praised?)
What if you’re worn out and don’t have the energy to step up? (What if it infuses you with energy?)
What if you can’t afford what it takes to step up? (What if you took a chance on yourself?)
What if you don’t have the support to step up? (What if you found it somewhere else?)
What if you don’t have the self-trust to step up? (What if you did?)
What if…? What if…? What if…?
Great questions. I’m glad you asked. I’ve asked myself those questions many times over my 15 years as a business owner.
Join me Tuesday, June 20 at noon Eastern over on Facebook Live to swap stories of backing down and stepping up. And how to know whether it’s worth the bother. I’ve got loads of thoughts on this topic and I bet you do too.
Hope to see you over there.
I believe it takes courage to start a business — and a bit of crazy to continue.
(No darling, you are NOT the only crazy one. Although it may feel that way some days.)
Click on the video below to hear me riff on this topic for you.
I’ll be expanding on each one of my beliefs (downloadable below) over the coming weeks and months.
And I hope you’ll join the conversation over on Facebook Live where we can chat about it in real time!
My all time favorite quote comes from Gary Lew who says,
“This is your world, shape it or someone else will.”
I come back to this reminder whenever I’m less than thrilled with my reality — and wanted to share it with you in case you happen to find yourself in one of those moments
If you’re not already living the dream, keep imagining the world you want to create!
“I just need the step-by-step plan for success.”
That’s the plea I made many times over my 15-year career as a business owner.
And it led to learning different ways to do launches, sell from the stage, get Facebook leads, shoot video, write blogs, create leveraged programs, build my list, run tele-seminars (that seems so old school!)… and literally dozens and dozens and dozens of other tactics
Did they all work?
Did the majority work?
Do I regret my time and financial investment?
Here’s the truth: It’s context for finding the way that DOES work for you.
The problem for most of us is that the path is too long and winding.
Because we want the shortcut. And it makes sense that the sales pitches we receive is that their solution IS the shortcut.
But that’s not necessarily true.
Years and years of this cycle prompted me to write a MANIFESTO about it. And it ended up being delivered as a video. So if you’ve tried all the success blueprints but still don’t feel successful, give it a watch by clicking the image below.